Speech by Isagani Cruz about Adultery
SPEECH DELIVERED AT THE CLOSING OF THE TWO-DAY LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE SEMINAR ON “RE-THINKING AND RE-DIRECTING PARADIGM AND PEDAGOGY IN THE TEACHING OF LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE” HELD AT FAR EASTERN UNIVERSITY, 19 FEBRUARY 2011, SPONSORED BY THE ALLIANCE OF LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE TEACHERS (ALLT)
Since you are teachers of language and literature, allow me to think aloud through a Homeric simile or, if you wish, a 17th-century conceit, or simply, a talinghaga.
I am an adulterer. I have a wife and two lovers.
My wife is the English language. I married her, making my marriage vows to her, my credentials, my MA and PhD in English, at the Ateneo and at the University of Maryland. She cooks my meals, gives me sustenance, by helping me participate in meetings for which I get paid. She bears my children, which are my English columns and books. I come home to her, I rush back into her arms when I want to feel secure. I love her. I love English.
I have a lover, who is female. My girlfriend is the Filipino language. She is much sexier than my wife, because she has all these terms for taste, smell, and touch – the senses that I use when making love. She is much younger than my wife; English was born about 1,500 years ago, but Filipino was born only in 1973. My girlfriend’s mother is Tagalog, but her father is Spanish and her grandmother is Chinese. That is why she is so attractive, because she is down to earth like the Tagalogs and practical like the Chinese, yet she speaks the language that God speaks. You know, of course, as the Spanish people put it so well, that “children speak in Italian, ladies speak in French, God speaks in Spanish, and the Devil speaks in English.” Yes, my girlfriend thinks my wife is a devil.
I have another lover. He is male. My boyfriend is literature. He understands me much more than my wife or my girlfriend does.
I have to struggle with my English, worrying about whether my behavior, my grammar, is perfect. I am always so careful when my wife is around. On the other hand, I cannot take my girlfriend to so-called respectable gatherings. People do not look kindly at me when I use Filipino to speak at big education or business or international conferences. Of course I enjoy caressing my girlfriend’s body, all the literary works written in Filipino, such as those by Bob Ong, but I am a bit apprehensive about boasting about her, because my wife is extremely jealous of her. When I travel outside the country, I have to keep introducing and apologizing for my girlfriend, something I do not have to do with my wife. Fortunately or unfortunately, my girlfriend is not well known outside the country, so I can take her there and limit our friends to the ten million or so of my compatriots working or living abroad. Abroad, my girlfriend is our shared secret and we can talk secretely without my wife knowing anything about her.
But the situation with my boyfriend is very different. I can take him with me anywhere I go. Nobody raises an eyebrow when we travel together, stay in the same hotel room, engage in public displays of affection. After all, boxers and basketball players hug each other tightly, cry on each other’s shoulders, even walk together with their arms on each other’s shoulders. People think it’s natural when I quote lines from literary pieces, when I have a book of poetry tucked under my arm as I walk down a street, when I read a novel in public. In fact, when I quote a line or two written by my boyfriend, people even applaud.
Of course, like other adulterers, I have to admit that I have a real psychological problem, for which I need to see a psychiatrist. I also have a spiritual problem, for which I need to see a priest or pastor. Moreover, I have a philosophical problem, because I do not really know who I love more or best or all the time.
I write in English in an English newspaper. I talk in English when I am in an international or even sometimes in a national conference. But I do not really like being with my wife all the time. I get bored with her and she gets bored with me. We have done so much together that we find that there is not much to do that now interests us. Besides, she always seems like a stranger to me. Like the Duke in Robert Browning’s poem, I feel like my wife, my last Duchess, bestows her favors on everyone, not just on me. I do not feel that she belongs to me. I do not own her nor does she want to be owned by me. She insists on her own rules and does not want to make allowances for my weaknesses.
On the other hand, I write in Filipino when I feel The Urge, when I feel hot and eager, when it is that time of the month when my hormones are raging and I just want to have someone I can have a very physical, very honest, very intimate, very enjoyable time. I do not have to worry about my behavior, my grammar, when I am with my girlfriend. I can let my hair down, whatever is left of it. Since she is young, she looks up to me and admires me. She does not have a personality cast in stone, so she does not mind changing when I want her to change. Since I give her a condo, a maid, a car, and spending money, I own her. I create words that she has to include in her vocabulary. I teach her. She is not my teacher, the way my wife is. She is my student, someone I mold according to my own likes and dislikes.
Still, I look forward to being alone with literature, being alone with a short story or a poem or a novel, watching a film based on a literary text, writing a literary text. My boyfriend combines the best traits of my English wife and my Filipino girlfriend. He is equally comfortable with both and he joins my wife and me when we entertain at home. He joins my girlfriend and me on trips abroad. My wife and my girlfriend, not being of the same gender as I am, do not really understand my needs, physical or psychological. But my boyfriend does. He excites me, keeps me interested, makes me eager to be with him, with his texts done from the time of Sophocles to the time of Jaime An Lim, Gemino Abad, Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo, Oscar Campomanes, Ferdinand Lopez, and all the writers in this audience. He knows exactly how and where to excite me. He is one with me in emotions, in sex, in love, in everything.
It’s not easy being an adulterer. My wife does not want me to be with my girlfriend. My girlfriend wants me to leave my wife and to marry her instead. My boyfriend wants me to be alone with him, not with my wife nor with my girlfriend. On the rare occasions when I have all three of them around the dinner table, they seem cordial enough, though I know that they really cannot get along that well. My boyfriend keeps breaking the rules of grammar that my wife and my girlfriend make. My wife keeps telling me that she is from a very rich and old family and I would be a fool to leave her. My girlfriend says that my wife does not understand me and only she can.
It’s a mess. Sometimes I feel that I should just go into a Trappist monastery and renounce all language, keeping a vow of silence instead. But my boyfriend insists that he should come with me to the monastery. They let males in there, but not females.
Sometimes I feel that I should just find an uninhabited island among the 7,100 islands of the Philippines and live there without books, without anyone, but my boyfriend is already in my memory, my wife has molded my thoughts, and my girlfriend has conditioned my physical needs.
There is a practical solution, but I don’t want to take it. I could just leave the country and become an OFW in a country that does not speak English – and there are quite a number of these countries. That way, I will never use English, there will be no reason to use Filipino, and I will soon forget all the classic lines of literature that define my being. But there’s a catch. That country will have its own literature. I will surely find a new boyfriend. My boyfriend will surely introduce me to a new girlfriend. Before I know it, my new girlfriend will become my wife, and I will be back where I started.
I am glad I was invited to this seminar, because I can now rethink and redirect my personal paradigm. I can now teach myself a new way of looking at myself, rethink and redirect my pedagogy in teaching language and literature. In my imagination, I can be constructive. I can resolve issues. I can keep alive my live circuit. I can break out of my depression and get rid of all my repressions by letting the world know who exactly I am.
I am an adulterer, and proud of it. Maraming salamat po.
taken from: http://www.isaganicruz.net/page8.php?post=30
Magna Carta for Disabled Persons: A Reaction on the Provisions of the Act
I wrote this essay as a requirement for my Special Education class in UP Manila this summer. We were asked to choose three provisions from the Philippine Magna Carta for Persons with Disabilities and react to them. I got my paper back and was really surprised by the good—well, maybe a bit more than good—grade I received for it. Special thanks to Professor Myra Timtiman-Tantengco, M.A. from UP College of Educ.! 🙂
Philippine Republic Act No. 7277, also known as the Magna Carta for Disabled Persons, is one of the laws protecting the rights of people with disabilities, especially here in the Philippines. Of the provisions stated in the Magna Carta, there are three which, in my opinion, are worthy of attention.
The provision on Accessibility stated in Chapter VI, covering sections 25 to 28, states that PWDs must be provided with the best possible environment for them to function efficiently in the society. A Barrier-Free environment must be made possible by the state, including opportunities for mobility and transportation.
As much as I am relieved to know that such a provision exists to protect the rights of our PWDs, I am frustrated as well. Despite the implementation of the Magna Carta in today’s society, many of our buildings are not accessible to PWDs, most especially those who are wheelchair-bound. There are buildings and establishments that do not have ramps to allow for passage of PWDs, the reason being lack of finances. Of course, even if the government demands the owners to give access to PWDs, it is not always that easy to produce funds for renovation, or even to allow renovation for very old infrastructures.
One of the most obvious violations of this provision is the construction of overpasses in our streets and highways. For a normal person, this would be advantageous because aside from safety, it also provides them accessibility. However, the government failed to take into account the PWDs who also need to cross the streets. Where there are overpasses, there are also fences and barricades between the streets so that there will be no jaywalkers. But how would the PWDs cross the streets, if this is the case? They’d have to ride a vehicle and spend more money just so they can reach their destinations. Isn’t this, in and of itself, already an infraction of the Magna Carta?
Also, the simple matter of how wide doorways must be for wheelchairs to pass through has not been addressed. There are a lot of doorways too narrow for the wheelchair-bound, so they end up waiting outside the door, or asking someone to fold their wheelchairs and carry them in. With the Magna Carta at hand, this issue should have been solved long ago. Clearly, our society is oblivious to the fact that PWDs had these rights, and that these rights must be protected at all costs.
The section on Mobility is not too loud of an issue for me. I have seen many PWDs riding motorcycles and driving cars and tricycles. The issue in this, however, lies on the discriminatory nature of the people around them. Some people do not ride tricycles or jeeps being driven by PWDs, because they think they are not as capable as normal people. What they do not consider is that these PWDs who drive for a living have licenses, and more importantly, have the right to what they are doing.
The section I am most frustrated about is the Access to Public Transport Facilities. It clearly states how PWDs must be treated, especially when they are availing of public transportation. Many times, I’ve seen people in wheelchairs motioning for taxis or jeeps to pull over, but are being ignored because of the effort they impose on the operators or drivers. I find this both rude and insulting. Do they have to be turned down just because they have a disability? How hard it must be for PWDs to travel, especially when they need to ride jeeps or buses.
The second provision worthy of attention is stated in Chapter VII, Political and Civil Rights. It states the rights of people with disabilities to vote, to assemble and to organize.
I am very much glad that such a provision is included in the Magna Carta, though I feel bad that not many people know or recognize this provision. I know many people with disabilities who do not vote during local and national elections. I do not blame the parents or guardians, even if some of them do not allow PWDs to vote, nor do I blame the government, even if the implementation of this provision is not as strict as it should be. There is no one to blame here but everyone in our society.
A plant is a plant no matter what family, class, order or species it belongs to. The same way goes with people. PWDs are still people, still citizens capable of being productive and functional in a society. Thus, they have every right to choose the leader they think is worthy to be their guide. This right must not be taken away from them just because they have lost their sight, or they have learning disabilities. Every person must know, support and respect this right.
Personally, I think the right to assemble and organize is one of the most important and sensible rights of PWDs. It is not questionable that they find solace and belonging with people who experience the same things they do. Of course, they tend to be close to people who understand what they are going through. The groups, organizations, clubs or any other assemblage of PWDs give these people something to hold on to, because they can work better together in overcoming their handicaps in out society. With each other, they can find their place and fill their roles so that they can give their best in building our country.
Finally, the most important part in the Magna Carta, in my opinion, is the provision on Education.
Every person has the right to be educated, and PWDs are no exceptions to this. In fact, in the Magna Carta, it is stated that they are supposed to be given access to quality education and equal—not necessarily identical—opportunities for learning. They might not meet this in regular schools for normal children, but they get this equal chance in schools meant for students like them.
I do hope that the government does its best to educate people with and implement these provisions in the strictest and most efficient way possible, because only then can PWDs become efficient and self-sufficient. They might not be the greatest contributors in our society, but they are still contributors nonetheless, and the education they can and should receive is the most important stepping stone to meeting this.
Right now, the subsidies and financial assistances from the government might be bleak, but hopefully this will improve. In the meantime, there are a lot of ways the government can address the problem of special education in the Philippines. They must think and rethink the inclusion program they are planning on, consider the welfare not only of the special students, but also of the regular students and the teachers who will directly provide the education.
In today’s world, our country is struggling to fight the manacles of poverty, corruption, illiteracy and discrimination. As students, we might seem like a practical joke to the people in the big picture, but we must never underestimate the power of a million voices shouting the same thing. Moreover, beyond the shouting, we must act together in a common purpose. There is no point in knowing and studying about the rights of citizens, especially PWDs, if we do not do anything to defend and protect them against people who will take advantage of them.
Hi I’m SHEETHEAD!
Sheethead?
Yep! That’s me!
Why? Because I love everything that has to do with reading and writing. I cannot survive a day without reading a book or writing my thoughts.
Basically, this site is about reviews of stuff I’ve read, mostly books. So, if you’ve got the time and patience to read what I have to say, by all means, feel free to do so. Comments and suggestions are very much appreciated!
Also, my posts are not limited on reviews. From time to time, I’ll write about random topics, and maybe upload some of my previous unpublished works.
Farewell for now, dear world. Await for my return!
Sincerely,
Sheethead
sheethead 